aka It’s the way I tell ’em …..
Man walks into our police station “I’m an illegal immigrant” he says,”I’ve come to hand myself in ….”
Very commendable attitude you may think …. and being the ever astute and helpful sort of bobby I am I get straight on the phone to Immigration or Border Agency or whatever they are calling themselves this morning.
“Tell him to come to Liverpool, we’ll sort him there” the ever unhelpful voice at the other end of the line says – I’m sure many of you dear readers have experienced this before but I shall continue …..
Actually, when the chap presented himself at our Front Counter, the extent of his English was “Me illegal” and to hold his hands out in front of him ready to be cuffed – I extended the conversation above for means of clarity lol.
Anyway, “Erm” I say to the disinterested voice on the other end of the phone “Actually I don’t think he could say Solihull never mind find it”. “Oh well, if you have to, lock him up and we’ll have to get over later”. Gee thanks, I think to myself, sorry to be such a burden to you guys.
“What’s his details” says the voice, “I’ll run him through”. No sooner had I passed the required information the voice piped up “Oh Barry, he does this every year”. “Who’s Barry ?” I say quizzickly. “Your man” says the voice “We call him Barry, does this every year, so does most his family. They come over on a visa alledgedly to have a holiday with family but they never go back on time. They work in the restaurant then when they decide to go home they turn up at a police station somewhere and hand themselves in. The rest of ‘um are probably at a different nick right now, no doubt we’ll have a round trip picking them all up. Free flight home isn’t it”.
Now, I’ve been in the job long enough to be able to say I’ve heard it all before but this one did stump me for a moment. “So why do we keep letting them back in ?” I managed to mumble out – actually (hopefully) that was all that Mr Officialdom on the other end could hear because the names I was calling him and his colleagues under my breath aren’t publishable on here dear reader.
“It’s how it goes” was the reply “they apply for the Visa, we give it ’em, can’t say no can we” ………