Yup, you guessed it, 7.35am Christmas Day morning, Chaos is in command of LIttleville and I already back from our first Grade 1 (or Priority or Level 1 or IR or whatever they call it in your part of the world).
Seems little Jimmy Williams (obviously not his real name, that’s S#!th£@d but the names have to be changed to protect the innocent) had awoken on Christmas morning to find Santa had left him the wrong present and his long-suffering mother was bearing the brunt of his displeasure.
Apprently Father Christmas had delivered an Xbox instead of a PS3 …. or the other way round, I never did work out amongst all the f’ing and blinding Jimmy and him mum, accompanied by both his brothers and sister were doing.
The only one in the house who wasn’t swearing or being generally abusive in one form or another was Stavros, the obligatory Staffordshire Bull Terrier. Then again he might well have been, I don’t speak dog I’m afraid to translate what the barks were.
Interesting side point here; I once asked Jimmy’s mom why they called the dog Stavros, rather than Killer, or Snarl, or other such common names that these outstanding members of society call their mutts. It transpired they were all massive Doctor Who fans and so called the dog after the leader of the Daleks. I tried to point out that was Davros, but I got nowhere – no nothing us coppers you see.
Still, no one was dead, no one was bleeding, and in the short time I had been there, Jimmy had put aside his hatred for whichever games console he was now the no so proud owner of, and was battling enemy troops on a far and distant world.
I wiped my feet on the way out, as is the norm, and walked back through the rubbish strewn front garden to my nice clean and tidy panda to return to the station ready to complete what I was sure would not be the first domestic type report of the day.
Whilst doing so I did consider the option of tracking down Santa and hauling him in for causing the whole bloomin’ problem in the first place but didn’t really want to spoil hs day as well.
Happy Christmas everyone ! … unless you don’t celebrate Christmas in which case Happy Holidays or Seasons Greeting or just enjoy a few days off the treadmill of normal life and relax .:o) …..
And don’t forget, whist you are enjoying yourself roasting chestnuts by an open fire or cracking open copious cans of cheap lager without a care in the world, your friendly police, fire and ambulance crews have foregone their time at home to make sure you are safe !
So have an extra mince pie on our behalf 🙂