I don’t think we’d even got the panda’s doors open this time when the dulcet slurrings of yet another drunk uttered (or at least tried to) the immortal line “Haven’t you got anything better to do ?” ……
Well yes actually, we’d just arrived for a night shift; technically we weren’t on duty for another fifteen minutes but here we were, in the middle of LittleVille after a call from Ambulance saying one of their crews had pressed the panic button and were being attacked. The brew I had just made for us to sup while we read the briefing was now sat on what seemed like a distant desk rapidly going cold.
There are, however, few things likely to make your public serving ever efficient supercops more likely to drop that steaming hot mug of sweetness and run out the door quicker than someone saying an ambulance crew was being attacked.
We were on scene in literally one minute to find that the ambo had been called to a ‘car v pedestrian RTC’ which in reality turned out to be one of our latest commentators friends – an outstandingly drunken local idiot – who had fallen over the crack in the paving slab outside the front door of the pub and planted himself onto the bonnet of a perfectly legally parked motor vehicle (obviously the lout’s mum never told him about the crocodiles that live in the cracks and how he needs to avoid them …… or was that just my mum trying to scare me ???)
So what happened when the ever-helpful paramedics try and offer some assistance to the incoherent, unstable, alcoholically comatosed moron ?? one gets punched in the chest for her troubles and the other gets spat at.
At this point let me make something perfectly clear to any members of the non police profession that may be reading this post and need clarification on the subject – if you abuse, attack or otherwise make trouble for ambulance staff, me and my gang will make it our sole purpose in life to make your pathetic existence a misery for as long as we can. – or at least until the local magistrates let you off because it wasn’t your fault and you had a bad upbringing and your mom never brought you a Mr Frosty for Christmas one year.