Here’s a question. Would you go out to the pub on a Friday night and leave five hundred quid on the table while you nipped to the loo or went off to the bar to get some more drinks ? No, didn’t think you would !
So why is it then, that soooo many people seem not to attach the same amount of worth to their shiny new spangly iPhone 5 (*other smartphones available), are happy to leave the damn things in pubs, in toilets, on the bus, in a taxi, or generally anywhere else other than surgically attached to their bodies, and still expect it to be there when they come back ?
And yes, I know, I can hear the cries of ‘you should be able to leave anything anywhere and people shouldn’t touch it’. Yes, you’re right, and no they shouldn’t …. but welcome to the real world when everything in the rose garden isn’t tinted pink.
I’m convinced that part of the problem is psychological, in that most people get their phones for ‘free’, whilst at the same time committing to paying the Gross Domestic Product of a small European nation every month for two years by means of their contract. Wow, yes, you’ve got 5,000 minutes of calls you can make but, unless you happen to be The Chaos Teen or one of her mates, what chance do you really have of yakking away and frying your head at the same time for 83 1/3 hours each month ???
I’m firmly of the belief, which is evidentially backed up whilst taking the crime report when you ask the loser ‘How much is it worth ?’ and 9 times out of 10 and they say ‘Nothing really cos it was free’ that they really believe the phone doesn’t cost anything.
‘NO IT WASN’T FREE – you’re paying for it for the next two years you buffoon’ I often feel like screaming.
Most smartphones, due to their very nature and technological complexity (big words huh ), can be very easily tracked, if you have either installed the correct app or activated the right programme. And why wouldn’t you do that if it meant that when Jimmy Lightfingers sticks his grubby mitts on your hard earned possessions, we might have the slightest chance of finding it, and him, before he flogs it for a ten quid bag of weed ??
There’s loads of good news stories appearing in the local and national press about how people and the police have managed to track phones (and more recently, tablet computers) by the signals they can be made to secretly give off. It gets even more amusing of course, when the evil little devices start subversively taking photographs of who is sat in front of them or is currently pressing the buttons, and quietly send the image, along with the precise GPS co-ordinates merrily back to the lawful owner and your ever-so-grateful Mr Plod on a very frequent basis.
But it does beg the question, where DO they all go ? I mean, all phones are immediately locked out of the networks as soon as they are reported missing to the relevant telecoms company, and I’m reliably informed that Apple have the ability to kill iPhones wherever in the world they may end up – so what’s the point ??
We continue to get an amazingly large number of reports of iPhones being stolen (hardly anyone rings up to say they’ve lost theirs, however I would guestimate that’s exactly what’s happened in a great percentage of cases); the vast majority of these reports at the moment tend to revolve around the latest model iPhone which, according to a quick bit of internet research will actually cost you around £500 or more to buy (or replace) outright.
As a side issue, an astounding number of these reports by the way also appear to originate from people who spend a great deal of their waking time using the said device which is now missing to ring the police and complain about what Tracey’s ex is going to do to their new partners ex’s partners ex and what they will do to Tracey if we don’t get round there yesterday and sort them out once and for all ! So ….. every cloud and all that !
Maybe Apple have missed something in their worldwide patent disputes. It isn’t the ‘screen swipe’ method’ or ‘touch icon shape’ they should have worried about; they should have patented the big bit of luminous yellow string that needs to be attached securely from device to the nearest available appendage of the owner !
** there will now be a small pause in writing whilst I fill out my patent application form with haste before Apple cotton on **
But back to my question, where do all these missing / stolen iPhones disappear to ? Is there some great void or portal to another dimension that they get thrown into, never to be seen or heard from in our world again ?
It’s a bit like elephants isn’t it, and that old question – where do elephants go to die ?
No one seems to know.