Stick ya bits !!

A story on the news caught my eye this morning, but not for the reason you were probably thinking.

Read this >> Vagina piercings count as FGM, even if you’re a consenting adult .

Apparently, according to the Department for Health, women who have piercings down below will now be considered to be victims of Female Genital Mutilation.

Let me just say that again in case you missed it. Grown women, of full mental capacity, who make their own decision, of their own free will, to have their private bits pierced, will now be considered victims of a vile and disgusting crime … which by default, must have been committed by well trained staff at highly regulated, clinically clean, piercing parlours.

Now I’m no expert in this, mainly due to lack of available and willing research subjects this morning, but if we can’t tell the difference between a grown woman who wants to have a piercing on her body, no matter where it might be, in a safe, sterile environment, and a young child held down on a grotty back street kitchen table, often by their own family, whilst some complete stranger hacks away at their body for the sake of it, we might as well all pack up and go home now.

It’s also worthy of note that Male genital piercings are not a problem. If that’s not a prime example of double standards, feel free to tell me what is !

Let’s just get this straight. Female Genital Mutilation is VILE. It’s an outdated, barbaric ritual, carried out for culturally backwards reasons intended for the sole purpose that the young girl being violated is not able to enjoy sex as a willing partner, with a willing partner, later in her life … which if you think about it, is the polar opposite of piercings which are intended to actually increase or intensify a womans’ pleasure.

So we have to ask the question, what on earth is the purpose of such a decision ?

We know that FGM is vastly underestimated and vastly underreported. We know it goes on but I think we would be kidding ourselves if we thought we were even touching the tip of the iceberg.

All that a ludicrous move like this will do is swamp the statistics relating to FGM offences, immediately masking, burying, hiding or diluting the true picture of such an horrific crime, and make it far, far more difficult for the police and other agencies to devote adequate resources (especially with fast dwindling budgets) to tackle to true offenders in this.

So ladies, (and gents), I say, if you want to stick things in your bits, crack on and fill ya boots !

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Would You #MarchAgain for #CutsHaveConsequences ?

On May 10th 2012, over 30,000 people, police and public alike, marched through the streets of London to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Policing budgets were being cut by 20% and jobs were being lost.

Since then, cuts to policing budgets have got bigger, and they will continue to do so for some years to come. Approximately 17,000 police officer posts have gone already. Some sources say numbers may ultimately drop to around 80,000 – and at a time when the UK is facing some of it’s biggest threats in a generation.

On top of this, thousands upon thousands more Support Staff roles have vanished to save money – jobs now being done by police officers, paid a higher wage than those who were doing the role before, but as a result keeping them off the streets where they should be; fighting crime and keeping the public safe.

Lately, I’ve been getting a number of emails and Twitter DM’s asking if I ever thought the police would march against to protest about the latest round of budget cuts.

Initially I,like many others no doubt, said ‘No. what’s the point, it’ll never change anything, minds are made up and that’s that !’

And then I thought, what a defeatist attitude that is. Whether or not anything actually changes is somewhat irrelevant. it matters not so much what effect a march has of policy change as it does the awareness created for the general public.

It is they who will suffer most when more police officer, PCSO and support staff jobs go.

It is they who will suffer most when they call 999 and there is simply no one to respond to their call.

It is they who will suffer when their elderly vulnerable relative goes missing in the cold dead of the night and there is no one to go and look for them.

It is they who will suffer most when having been burgled; their homes violated; their possessions stolen or vandalised, they don’t see an police or forensic officer for days

It is they who will suffer most when as a victim of crime, they do not see justice done for many months because the officer dealing with their case has dozens more like it vying for his or her attention.

It is they who will suffer most when the cost of their shopping or car insurance rises steeply to compensate for the losses incurred through higher crime levels.

The list goes on and on and on …..

So, the question is, IF THE OPPORTUNITY AROSE AGAIN, WOULD YOU MARCH IN LONDON TO SAY ‘#CUTSHAVECONSEQUENCES’ ??

This has nothing whatsoever to do with pay or pensions.

It matters not what change we could ever hope to achieve.

What is important is that the public are aware of the increased dangers they face if there aren’t enough police out there to protect them.

Answer this simple poll YES or NO and feel free to comment below.

The ONLY group capable of organising a second march, with all the planning and logistics involved, is the Police Federation and they are not me. At this time, this is purely hypothetical.

What I will guarantee is that they will be made aware of everyone’s answers and thoughts. Maybe it’s a question for officers to also ask of their Fed Reps ???

Why Is It So Hard To See Black And Blue ?

The interwebnet of things and Twitterworld have been full this week of an image of a dress. Not just any dress, but the dress, or rather #TheDress to be correct. Did you see a Black and Blue dress or a White and Gold one ? (I saw white and gold by the way).

It’s all something to do with our eyes and ability to see different colours – all very technical but either way, a light hearted demonstration of peoples perception of colours and the light spectrum.

The Salvation Army in South Africa however, has spun all this frivolity into a new, somewhat darker, but far more important and far reaching attempt to encourage people to improve their vision of colours, specifically the black and blue shades referred to by #TheDress.

Fellow blogger, survivor of and campaigner for Domestic Violence awareness and support here in the UK @SammieB1980 has, like me, picked up on these new images, and Sam has written her own blog detailing her thoughts on the question ‘Why is it so hard to see black and blue ?’

I have reproduced Sam’s blog below. Long time readers of my blog may recall I posted my own blog talking about Sam and her efforts some three years ago now, back in 2012 – you can read my blog about Sam and her victim support group Survivors of Domestic Abuse here.

You can read all of Sam’s blogs here or visit her Domestic Violence support website here.

The answer, by the way, may be found in the second of Salvation Army South Africa’s posters:

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Sam’s Blog Post:

A powerful image but just the tip of the iceberg for many that suffer coercive control and domestic abuse on a daily basis.  It’s not just about a punch, slap or kick it’s about all that she has had to endure to even get those marks.  Verbal abuse, verbal threats to kill, manipulation, isolation, possessiveness, control, intimidation – not just once but every single day.

Perpetrators will do anything and everything they can to gain and maintain power and control over the victim yet society finds it so hard to see black and blue.

• Society chooses to ignore it
• It’s the victims fault
• It’s a one-off
• She shouldn’t have said/done something to provoke the perpetrator
• Society doesn’t understand the cycle
• It’s seen as normal behaviour in relationships
• If it was that bad, she would leave
• She deserves it
• But he seems such a caring partner, not a controlling perpetrator
• He must have had a bad day/poor upbringing/bad relationship

Ignorance to such a horrific crime and that’s what domestic abuse is, a crime, not care and love but power and control contributes to perpetrators being allowed and getting away with doing this – to the person they claim to love.

Domestic abuse isn’t just black and blue, a victim goes through so much more before getting to this point.  The complex cycle starts with isolation, control, manipulation before a hand is raised.

Domestic abuse isn’t an illusion, it is happening in the here and now, with the Police receiving one call every 60 seconds relating to domestic abuse, that is how real this epidemic is, destroying lives, ripping families apart, killing victims and this image portrays the true impact of the physical side of this crime.

Society will be looking at this image but somehow subconsciously looking past the bruises and being judgmental toward why she got these bruises rather than judging the perpetrator on their behaviour.  There is never an excuse for abuse.  Ever.  But we are still hearing society with their judgmental attitude thinking and believe a victim “asks” to be abused rather than seeing it from the true perspective of a perpetrator choosing to abuse.

It is so hard to see black and blue because judgement clouds our vision, lack of awareness, education, training and understanding leads us to believe that this is completely the victims fault, that they deserve it and it’s not all that bad because if it was, they would just leave.  It is so hard to see black and blue because domestic abuse is still often seen as a taboo subject that we feel is best dealt with if we sweep it under the carpet and pretend that it doesn’t even exist so then it might just magically disappear.

It is so hard to see black and blue because negative attitudes, funding cuts, no legal aid and closure of refuges make it impossible for victims to just leave, with trails of verbal death threats, harassment and stalking quickly following behind.  It’s so hard to see black and blue because in today’s society this is seen as normal behaviour, something that is tolerated and part of a great deal of relationships today with perpetrators and victims getting younger and young.

It is so hard to see black and blue because of cultures attitude toward this complex cycle.  So when you look at this picture, take a good look, soak up everything that surrounds it.  The physical and psychological torture that the victim received, how the perpetrator made this her fault, how the perpetrator blamed her for his actions, how she would have to apologise for something she didn’t do wrong.  How that this isn’t the end of the the abuse for her.  How this is how victims live their life everyday, how they have to walk on eggshells so they “don’t do something wrong” to “deserve” this.

It’s so hard to see black and blue when we live in a society that doesn’t even want to admit, acknowledge or act upon that this even happens.  With 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men becoming a victim of domestic abuse during their lifetime, it *is* happening, it *is* real and it *is* a crime.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse or know someone is, please report it.

No one deserves this treatment and no one asks to be treated this way.